Reality Check

I'm sick of getting screwed over. When we were going through IF treatments our insurance didn't cover crap so we paid most of our medical expenses out of pocket. We paid a LOT out of pocket. When I think about how much money we forked out for specialists and meds and u/s and IUI and blood tests which all got us, oh yeah, NOWHERE, I feel kind of sick.

And now that we are pursuing adoption, of course there is a whole new list of things that we have to pay for. Big bucks. Money that could be going into my kid's college fund or spent on a nicer house so my child could have a bigger bedroom and a better yard to play in, or a minivan so I could cart around my 2.5 kids and a dog...something besides agency fees and legal expenses and all of that misc. adoption "stuff". Let's be honest, I don't even know where all the money goes, I just know I need a lot of it.

So we went to the bank and the nice lady gave us a loan and wished us good luck. And I remember feeling so happy and relieved when we left, knowing that now we could pay for everything. I don't know how we are ever going to pay it all back, but we have a 10 year loan and a crappy interest rate so what the hell.

Then at work I found out that my company will be offering adoption benefits starting the first of the year. Whoopee! But the reality is that this benefit is 2 weeks paid time off upon assuming custody of the child and up to $3,000 reimbursement for adoption expenses. Well...it is something, and something is better than nothing, but it's pretty much crap compared to what you get if you actually pop a kid out yourself. If you get pregnant and give birth you get your prenatal medical expenses paid by insurance other than copays and deductibles. I mean I realize you have to pay premiums for your insurance throughout the year but you would be paying that anyway. Then after you have the child you can qualify for short term disability because your body is healing. If I understand our new policy correctly that means 100% of your pay for up to 6 weeks.

So does that mean it takes 2 weeks to form a bond with your child but 6 weeks for your girl parts to heal after giving birth? I think that's total bullshit. I mean, maybe I should have a hysterectomy done 2 weeks after I legally adopt my child and then I can take 8 weeks off paid?!? Hmmmm....

Anyway, I have just been thinking about how much time I want to take off when we bring home our child vs. how much time we can realistically afford for me to take off and the reality of this has all been sinking in. It just sucks and it makes me pretty crabby. I know it will all be totally worth it in the end, but in the mean time just allow me to wallow in self pity for a bit.

Now that I got that off my chest I'm off to raid the leftover Halloween candy!