Bad Mommy

I'm done drooling over Johnny Depp for a while and decided to get back to my mommy blog. (Ok, I was actually over my JD excitement a few days after the meeting, but I haven't had time to post anything.)

Today I stayed home sick from work. I'm not really that sick, I do have some kind of allergy thing going on and did not get much sleep last night, but mostly I was just tired and had a case of the Mondays and decided to play hookie. (I do this VERY rarely and end up feeling guilty the entire day...I feel guilty right now...instead of relaxing and recharging which is what I really need) So I went back to bed and tried to sleep, and for whatever reason I started thinking about lifebooks. Or more specifically, my lack of any kind of lifebook or adoption journal for my son. I think this popped into my head because Brian and I were discussing how in a month it will be our 2 year anniversary of Cameron's gotcha day, 2 years since we became a forever family, and we thought we should do a little something to celebrate. Which also got me thinking that my boy is getting older, and although I do bring up the adoption idea in casual conversation and in some of his children's books, it's probably time to start exploring this idea with him a little more in depth.

A lifebook is something I feel is important, something I've been meaning to start for a long time. You know, about 2 1/2 years now, since we first got the call that we had a baby boy. But here it is 2 1/2 years later and all I have to show for it is a somewhat-kept-up-with photo album, some random souvenirs from our Guat trips, and lots of adoption documents in a fire safe. Oh, and the ramblings on this blog which I guess would count as somewhat of a journal. Not very organized, eh?

So I went and dug up my "Lifebooks" workbook and read through it for about the 4th or 5th time hoping for inspiration. Then I surfed the net for a while and found some really great examples of scrapbooking pages, but I am not a scrapbook type person and I don't know if I have the creativity in me to put one together. I found a good article on making digital photo memory books through various websites, which are pretty cool too and you can even add captions and journals, etc then it gets printed up and bound like a regular book. Cameron LOVES books and loves looking at pictures of himself and our family so I could see this being right up his alley, but then I wonder how much information do I put in it? If it was a scrapbook with removable pages I would put more confidential info in about his birthmother and a picture, but if it's just a printed up photo book I don't want the whole world to see that information, because that is for my son's eyes and when he is older he can decide who to share that with, if anyone. But I also don't want him to have this book but not be able to share it with poeple if he wants just because a page or two is sensitive.

So now I'm sitting here frustrated and confused, knowing I want to do something for my son but not sure what. Part of me is thinking I could whip together a cute photo book for him as a gotcha day gift, but not get into too much detail and then when he's a bit older we could do a lifebook together with the paper cut-outs and the whole nine yards. For a toddler maybe this is best anyway? Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? What have you done for your children? I don't know if many people even still even look at this blog anymore, but if you are lurking and have some ideas please help me out!